Day 15 of Prison Break of Thoughts – 31 Days of Inner Release

Half way through this write 31 days series!  The posts have sometimes been off the beaten track, but I understand this happens with writers as new ideas emerge and need to be voiced.

I wrote the following almost exactly 2 years ago in one of my journals:  “I’ve realised that I have been living through someone else.  I have been reveling in their glory.  I have been spending too much time waiting, not on God, but waiting to hear more, to satisfy my craving, my idol: Facebook / electronic recognition.  There, I have admitted it – I crave recognition, I crave encouragement, and I get it this way, through someone else’s success – my son, my daughter’s achievements, my Moms in Prayer Ministry  …     What am I really afraid of?  Failure, rejection, not pleasing people close to me?  Just do it – do that desire of my heart.  Don’t just dream and adopt a defeatist attitude.  Do what you’ve wanted to do ever since you were a teenager. It’s not too late.  Do what you’ve been called to do …. Get it done!”

Was that a spectacular, headline prison break that we were all waiting for? Not quite, I’m afraid.  More likely, after 2 years I was being released on my own recognizance, on the condition I write every day. And since 2 weeks ago I am a fully fledged joy Writer.

I used to be glued to Facebook.  Somehow it provided that safety, that ‘good’ procastination, that partial connectivity, that acceptability, satisfying that deepest longing to be known. But Facebook was my time stealer, and I was able to get unstuck eventually.  I still go on it every few days for a few minutes to check messages and see if the kids have posted anything, or to wish a friend a happy birthday or to ‘like’ something spectacular.  And my heart still skips a beat hearing from the kids, both overseas, they communicate well and often with us.   And I am still in other mini-prisons, a bit like holding cells, for chocoholics and nail biters.

I am not too bothered.  I am doing what I love.

Today is Day 15 of the series Prison Break of Thoughts – 31 days of Inner Release that I am writing for #write31days challenge.

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9 thoughts on “Day 15 of Prison Break of Thoughts – 31 Days of Inner Release

  1. I love this–Prison Break. In Christ, we ARE breaking out of prison. So good! Thankful that chains are flying off. 🙂 Thank you for being so brave in this post. Love the, “There, I said it!” I felt freedom just reading that. Glad I landed right underneath you on the 31 Days Challenge thread today.

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  2. Love your transparency! Social media is a hard thing in some seasons because there are good, constructive elements and elements that pull us away from other things. It can be a hard balance particularly with business and blogging endeavors. Blessed to be walking the grace-filled balancing act with you! 🙂 ❤

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  3. Sooooo proud of you Debb!! I wasn’t going to respond to this one because it was too painful thinking how I am still in that similar place – I haven’t yet gotten to do what I love but through your experience, I see God’s firm hand in ensuring despite ourselves that we will get to use our gifts. Dare to be great, Debb……dare to be great!

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  4. Hi Debbs. I received the link from N. and started reading your journey. From Day 1 I was on your journey & could identify.

    Today’s entry was so relatable! About 3+ weeks ago, one of the kids signed me up to Facebook since I was recovering from illness and still am.. After 2 weeks, I told them I wanted to disconnect from it altogether – I found it depressing & felt as you described. More importantly, I found that my time in prayer & meditation & hearing from God through His Holy Spirit became less. I was no longer 100% depedant & focused on Him- since I was starting to feel better I was more focused on FB.

    Elon suggested that I use it as a ministry instead (which I decided to do), and I always hope that when I do send a post, it will minister to someone-just 1 person liking my post is achieving God’s purpose & that’s wonderful!

    I pray that God will continue to guide you and bless you. Know that you are blessing many with this heart-felt journey!

    Lots of love

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    1. Michele, thank you for taking the time to comment and I am glad you are able to relate. How wonderful that you are using FB as a ministry! It has to be so hard for the young people in this age. Your words have encouraged me to keep my writing going. Thank you!

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  5. Hope that we can all get together around Christmas. With Ross having starting BCC inSeptember, I don’t get to see Debbie, Mbonabi but I promised I’d try to come one of these Friday’s to pray with them. Still stay in contact by our Whatsapp group though 😊

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